So next week, J is moving out. He signed a year's lease for a studio apartment. Coincidentally, my birthday is also next week.
There's a lot to think about. Every since late February, my brain has been working overtime, trying to process what has happened to me, and by extension, to us. To the me+him part that used to be such a central part of my life.
Last year, I never went out with J. It was simply unthinkable. The only things I did alone was go to the gym and the grocery store. Every time we hung out with friends, or saw a movie, or went to a concert, we went together.
Now I'm learning who I am without the him. I admit, sometimes it is a bit of a steep learning curve. Other times, it feels revelatory. Even freeing. There are some people I know socially who has not yet met J. They have no concept of the me+him part, just the me.
Girl awakens from life coma, and finds out that she does have feet to stand on. A mouth to speak up with. An opinion that matters. Her body occupies a space that belongs rightfully to her. There is no shame in owning that space.
It's just saddens me that there has to be collateral damage.
I just discovered your blog on Ravelry. So Glad I did. What a breath of Fresh Air.
ReplyDeleteThank You!. I Loved this: "Girl awakens from life coma and finds out that she does have feet to stand on. A mouth to speak up with. An opinion that matters. " Her body occupies a space that belongs rightfully to her. There is no shame in owning that space. It just saddens me that there has to be collateral damage." This speaks to me intensely after coming out of a 30-year, very destructive marriage. Keep sharing! It is so lovely to hear about your experience/perception of Skydiving/Jumping.